The Reality of Wanting My Bully

Kieran

Jace Ryan is such a clichรฉ. The popular star baseball player who can get any girl he wants.

Heโ€™s also a close-minded jerk who canโ€™t seem to understand why a guy would ever want to wear makeup.

He wonโ€™t leave me alone, claiming that what I choose to wear is distracting, that Iโ€™m a freak for being different. His bullying is annoying, and yeah, I might have been afraid once or twice, but I wonโ€™t let it get to me.

I wonโ€™t change who I am for anyone.

And despite what he might say in front of his friends, Jace doesnโ€™t actually seem to hate me as much as he claims.

Especially when weโ€™re alone and Iโ€™m on my knees for him.

Jace

I have a lot of regrets in life, but the way things blew up with Kieran Delaney thirteen years ago is at the very top of my list.

Iโ€™m sure he hasnโ€™t thought about me since then, but not a day goes by that I havenโ€™t wondered what might have been. Itโ€™s so easy to pretend like heโ€™s still in my life when I can watch all of his videos, like all of his posts. Who knew heโ€™d become so famous for the very thing I used to bully him for?

I signed up for Love Without Labels, a label-free dating show, in an attempt to finally get over him. When they took away my phone, I thought it would finally help me move on. I found someone new, someone who made me laugh and forget about Kieran. Someone who I thought I could have a future with. But when I met him in person, I realized itโ€™s been him the whole time.

The man I hurt all of those years ago.

The man Iโ€™ve loved in silence ever since.

He might think things are fake between us, but I know this is my one chance to prove Iโ€™m not the same guy who broke his heart.

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Content Warnings

Click the + to see the content warnings.

    • Teenager implying that the way someone dresses gives others permission to harass them

    • Fat shaming: really shitty parent who calls their child fat, forces them to workout and restrict their diet under the excuse that they're helping them be healthy

    • Parent pressures child to pursue an athletic career

    • Homophobic parents

    • Use of "gay" as an insult

    • Bullying based on appearance/self-expression (including name calling: weirdo/freak, etc. but NO f-slur!)

    • Gender stereotyping 

    • Internalized homophobia + fear of being outed  

    • Physical harm to a MC

    • Hospitalization (off page)

    • Being disowned for being queer

    • Online bullying / on-page in-person bullying

    • Degradation

    • Unintentional misgendering (from a side character) 

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