The Reality of Wanting My Bully

Kieran

Jace Ryan is such a clichΓ©. The popular star baseball player who can get any girl he wants.

He’s also a close-minded jerk who can’t seem to understand why a guy would ever want to wear makeup.

He won’t leave me alone, claiming that what I choose to wear is distracting, that I’m a freak for being different. His bullying is annoying, and yeah, I might have been afraid once or twice, but I won’t let it get to me.

I won’t change who I am for anyone.

And despite what he might say in front of his friends, Jace doesn’t actually seem to hate me as much as he claims.

Especially when we’re alone and I’m on my knees for him.

Jace

I have a lot of regrets in life, but the way things blew up with Kieran Delaney thirteen years ago is at the very top of my list.

I’m sure he hasn’t thought about me since then, but not a day goes by that I haven’t wondered what might have been. It’s so easy to pretend like he’s still in my life when I can watch all of his videos, like all of his posts. Who knew he’d become so famous for the very thing I used to bully him for?

I signed up for Love Without Labels, a label-free dating show, in an attempt to finally get over him. When they took away my phone, I thought it would finally help me move on. I found someone new, someone who made me laugh and forget about Kieran. Someone who I thought I could have a future with. But when I met him in person, I realized it’s been him the whole time.

The man I hurt all of those years ago.

The man I’ve loved in silence ever since.

He might think things are fake between us, but I know this is my one chance to prove I’m not the same guy who broke his heart.

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Content Warnings

Click the + to see the content warnings.

    • Teenager implying that the way someone dresses gives others permission to harass them

    • Fat shaming: really shitty parent who calls their child fat, forces them to workout and restrict their diet under the excuse that they're helping them be healthy

    • Parent pressures child to pursue an athletic career

    • Homophobic parents

    • Use of "gay" as an insult

    • Bullying based on appearance/self-expression (including name calling: weirdo/freak, etc. but NO f-slur!)

    • Gender stereotyping 

    • Internalized homophobia + fear of being outed  

    • Physical harm to a MC

    • Hospitalization (off page)

    • Being disowned for being queer

    • Online bullying / on-page in-person bullying

    • Degradation

    • Unintentional misgendering (from a side character) 

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